Feeling miserable

I write this at home today realizing that most of my posts thus far have been very reflective, upbeat, and in some sense hopeful. But, if I'm honest with myself, those moments aren't always constant for me. In fact there are often days, like today, when I find myself feeling miserable. I started sneezing and blowing this weekend and by Monday, drainage and a sore throat had left me feeling worthless. I'm trying to work from home, rest up, and keep a low profile today. Believe me, when you're sick no one really cares for a visit from you anyway. In fact, they're pretty appreciative when you spare them the germs.
All these mucky feelings this morning made me think back to my weekend meeting in Mooresville for Confernce Youth Ministry. When I arrived in town, I dashed into a nearby Wendy's to devour a quick burger since no dinner was provided. I don't claim to be a mind-reader or a psychic, but I do tend to have a keen sense of observation and decent intuition. From a young mom and her son at the entrance, to a middle-aged father setting a table for two families with a total of nine youngsters - it seemed as if i kept encountering people whose lives were somehow complete misery on the inside. Both the young lady at the door and the father of the other family in the dining room seemed to look back deeply into my eyes as if i were a welcome relief to this miserable life they were caught up in. Something in their eyes and their glance at me seemed to say "please get me out of this mess and monotony."
As I ate my burger, I said a prayer for the folks at that Wendys and gave thanks for the joy I have in my own life and my relationship with my wife. Three years together have flown by like yesterday. As I left, I began to wonder, how many people are actually going through the motions of this life feeling completely miserable and empty. We've all been there at one point or another. How about you? Are you feeling miserable today? If so, you're not alone. Maybe this can be a space today to let some of that out.

Full spectrum

During the past week, you might say I experienced the full spectrum of United Methodism. It began with the fixing of the appointments and closing worship at Lake Junaluska. What followed included packing everything you can possibly think of(including a grumpy cat) in your car and returning home for a visitation and funeral on Wednesday, worship planning, a rehearsal dinner and wedding over the weekend, three Sunday services, three Eucharists, 3 adult baptisms, one confirmation, one anointing for healing, one laity award recognition, and two commissionings for summer missions. Who says you can't learn all you need to know about United Methodism in a week. And if that's not enough, just wait until this week is over.
While I rejoice at such a bold and broad spectrum of sacramental life last week, sometimes I'm equally guilty of getting caught up in the frustrations and negativity of the present. Take Monday for example. I could easily lament that my day began with only five inmates at Bible Study, that I spent all afternoon waiting for the results of a surgery, and completed my day with a council meeting that lasted over 100 minutes. However, as I looked back that evening on my day, I began to see nothing but blessing. Despite low attendance at prison we had one of our most engaging discussions yet and those who were present had all studied up and brought something to share about a specific prophet. The hospital wait was filled with humorous conversation, odd stories, and playtime with parishioners and their kids. The surgery couldn't have gone better and I was also able to visit with another member who had been admitted. Although the council meeting ran into worries about stewardship, tithing, and giving, the tone of the meeting was overwhelmingly progressive. The spirit of the church is still alive and I have no doubt we will continue to move forward and find ways to fulfill our mission and ministry. It seemed worth every minute. How about you? Have you taken the chance to experience the full spectrum of your day? of life? Try this. Four little words to help you step into that fullness..."Thanks be to God."

Youth Sunday

I've been holding on to this one for a while but it's priceless in my book. Just before school finished in June, the youth of our Charge led worship on Sunday. Most of them were part of this year's confirmation class and a few of them were even confirmed that day. The challenge was that they led worship for both churches that morning (so they had a great glimpse of what I do each week running from 1 church to the next). I love youth Sunday even if it involves more work than planning for a normal Sunday service. There's so much freedom and room for creativity. Everyone has something to offer and they each bring something special to the service. This year the Message came from Matthew 6, a reflection from Brian McLaren, and a skit to the music of One Republic "Say." As we hurriedly finished up the first service and scrambled around to get our props, projector, and supplies, I was lucky enough to be the last man out holding the door. As the youth and some of their parents filed out, I overheard one saying "Wow! This is cool. And the best part is we get to do it all over again." Another was overheard saying, "I wish we could do this all the time." It sort of changes your whole perspective about leading multiple services on Sunday. (I'm not sure my wife's ever been that excited about hearing the sermon multiple times).
I'm still smiling on the inside. Sure, some of it is pride, but mostly I'm just overjoyed that these teens are making a real connection with worshiping the living God. I think this is the kind of stuff the bishop was talking about at Annual Conference. We truly need to find ways to reach our young people. More than anything they need mentors in their lives who can help them navigate the call God has placed on their lives. I wouldn't be surprised if we a few young clergy in the making. Pray for them.

Life in the Spirit

Some weeks ago, I was particularly struck by the words of Paul about hope. It's tucked away in the middle of the 8th chapter of Romans where Paul has been unpacking an understanding of life in the Spirit for a church that he had never visited. Trying to relate to someone whom you've never seen or met is a task in itself, let alone trying to explain the work of the Holy Spirit. Believe me, I've tried both before - with mixed results at best. Sometimes the only way to try to understand the workings of the Spirit is simply to experience it. It can unfold in a multitude of ways. Perhaps in the fulfillment of something beautiful in unexpected places. Perhaps in discovering immense value in something seemingly worthless. Perhaps simply in reading familiar words over and over again or watching familial rituals carried out with a uniquely personal touch.

As I read through this passage over and over again that week, it became clear God was trying to tell me something about hope, about vision, and about the aspirations I have for the congregations I serve. Paul says: "Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience....for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words." Sometimes, I think my dreams and hopes for us as a people of God grow daily. God offers glimpses of vision and direction, powerful images of how we can more fully give ourselves completely to God and one another. Yet, after a few hours, realism sets in and I manage to amass at least 3x as many reasons as to why that just couldn't work now or here. It's too big of a leap, it's too soon, it's never been done before,...etc. Maybe, just maybe, I've been discounting the power of the Spirit. Rather than setting a vision and goals that I can see are already just within reach, perhaps I should be setting my hope in what we do not see. Hope that is seen isn't hope at all.

I've always hoped to see folks actively leading our worship. I dream of a congregation that feels empowered and called to lead aspects of worship (not merely content to sit back and enjoy a one person show). On Pentecost Sunday, of all days, I stumbled into a rural church tucked away in a cove of WNC. The worship order was easily familiar. But something special unfurled that morning and I can safely say it was the Spirit at work. While the rituals of worship were similar they were memorably transformed by the power of uniquely personal story. The face of a 30-something young man with down syndrome danced brilliantly in the light of the flame as he grinned from ear to ear with ecstatic joy when he lit the altar candles. The arms of a bruised, but not broken, lay leader in a full back brace quivered as he took the offering plates and raised them as high as possible during the doxology. Worship and ritual was transformed that festival day, that Pentecost.

Is there anything that is not possible with God? Perhaps I need to be dreaming bigger and hoping for the things not yet seen. What are your deepest hopes and dreams for your community, for your church, and for your family? Listen for the rumblings of the Spirit and don't be afraid to unleash them.