Last night my wife and I had a night to ourselves. This might sound beyond belief but we went out for dinner at a restaurant! I assure you it's true. You see, we have a beautiful 14 month old daughter and last night she had a sleepover with the grandparents.
If there's one thing I've learned from this unbelievable, and at times crazy, experience of trying to be a dad, it's how incredibly selfish I am. No one ever mentions this when you're expecting a child. The closest thing people would say is "that changes everything." Maybe that's what they actually meant, that you'll find out how incredibly selfish you are. When a child comes into your life, it's no longer about you. Instead, all your efforts, your schedule, and your energies are focused on caring, nurturing, and loving that child. As I've looked back on my life, I've noticed just how much of my world revolved around me. What I felt like, wanted to do, or decided to pursue. Catching a matinee, hours of pick-up games, or 1am Target runs are a thing of the past. Do I miss it? Absolutely! Would I change it? No.
Having a child is priceless. And it's something I wish everyone should have. I think the world would be a better place if we were all awakened to the reality of our self-centeredness and invited to learn how to give our self for others. Marriage is just the first step. You begin to learn it's not all about you. But fatherhood or motherhood? Well, that's the gauntlet. Because then you realize it was never about you. Your true delight becomes emptying yourself so completely that someone else might thrive and grow and love. My daughter gives me untold treasures. (Not the least of which is her irresistible smile). But, her best gift so far is teaching me how to be empty for others.
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